Shlomo Hamelech writes in Mishlei ” chachmas Isha Bansa Beisa”. It’s the wisdom of the woman that builds the home. We see this illustrated in the most obvious way in this weeks parsha, Korach. The Gemara in Sanhedrin relates to us the conversations that two couples had. The first was Korach and his wife and the second Owne ben Peles and his wife. Korach’s wife instigated the rebellion of Korach against Moshe. She claimed Moshe was guilty of nepotism in not only appointing himself king, but his brother Aharon to be the Kohen Gadol the High Priest who would receive gifts from the nation. Furthermore he appointed Aaron’s sons to be the deputy Kohein. Korach himself a Levi of higher stature and greater wealth was egged on by his wife to challenge Moshe. Korach who was probably one of the wealthiest men at the time would eventually lose it all and be swallowed up in the ground. The other conversation between Owne Ben Peles and his wife went as follows. “What difference does it make weather you follow Moshe or Korach, in either case you are only going to be the student not the master. Urging her husband and eventually convincing him to remove himself from Korach and his followers and to remain loyal to Moshe. She did this in a remarkable act of putting her shame at risk by acting in a manner that would be castigated by others. Thereby Korach’s followers would want to kick out Owne for being married to such an immodest woman. Owne who slept through this scene ended up being saved physically in this world and spiritually in the world to come.
Recently, someone asked me the obvious question, “how do I know when to listen to my wife and when not to”? I think that in our day in age we have a clearer picture of right and wrong and not such a great challenge as in the case of Owne. The over simplified answer is if your wife tells you to go to the casino then don’t listen but if she tells you to go Daven or learn in Shul then you should run there. There are a few scenarios that are obvious and we (men) should take heed from the individuals who actually build the home.
As the old cliché goes “it takes two to tango”. The wives and women in our lives who are the builders of the home must feel that responsibility that rests with them. Children will usually follow their greatest role models, their parents. Mothers and fathers must realize that their sons and daughters are looking to them for positive behavior. This isn’t always successful, there are other outside factors that we need to contend with. At least let’s do what we CAN control, and that is we the parents and the environment of our homes.
Let us not be swallowed up by society, but rather stand up as Moshe & Aharon did against Korach and his 250 followers.
If I may add a Bracha/Blessing to this week’s Dvar Torah.
A Bracha to a young woman who started to build her new home with her new husband. They should take the words of Shlomo Hamelech of “Chochmas Isha Bansa Beisa” and the words of Shlomo’ father David Hamelech that the wife is the Akeres Habyis/ the mainstay of the Jewish home and fulfill them to build a Bayis Neeman B’Yisroel. To Yehudis (nee Bogopulsky) and Yaacov Kaplan on their wedding this past week, you should follow the words of Dovid and Shlomo Hamelech as you build your personal kingdoms, may you be Zocheh to build a Bayis Neeman B’Yisroel. Mazal Tov
Ah Gut Shabbos
Rabbi Avram Bogopulsky
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